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2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2005 7:36 pm    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.

Archived from group: alt>humor>puns
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nemo



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 648
PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2005 12:00 am    Post subject: Re: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
"Tim Bruening" wrote in message@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
> Boozing: Singing ghost.
>
> Hosing: Singing hooker.
>
> Losing: Singing toilet.

That's what you have to do if the lock's broken!
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:02 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 2:04 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:50 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Fancy: Ocean of cooling devices.

Fluency: Ocean of languages.

Hackney: Knee of a computer intruder.

Hemlock: Lock on a dress.

Hockey: Key to a pawn shop.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:51 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote in message
> @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Keith E." wrote:
> >
> > > Wed, 28 Apr 2004 00:31:28 -0700 was a day just like any other,
> > > until Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >On Wed, 28 Apr 2004 02:55:42 GMT, Keith E.
wrote:
> > > >
> > > >>>>>>>>>Don't get sniffy with me, young man!
> > > >>>>>>>>
> > > >>>>>>>>Don't worry, I keep nose plugs with me at all times.
> > > >>>>>>>
> > > >>>>>>>You might just want to trim your nose hair once it gets
that
> thick,
> > > >>>>>>>Keith.
> > > >>>>>>
> > > >>>>>>I tried, but it objected.
> > > >>>>>
> > > >>>>>So that's where your handlebar mustache came from!
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>>No, that came off a bicycle. It's just a realistic paint job.

> > > >>>
> > > >>>I thought the red handlebar grips with the multicolored
streamers
> were
> > > >>>a bit much, though.
> > > >>
> > > >>They aren't streamers, they're snot wicks. They work kinda like

> > > >>those fancy clothes that wick sweat from your body.
> > > >
> > > >That'll make you popular with the ladies!
> > >
> > > They want me for my classy ways.
> >
> > Have you ever tried to TUNAFISH?
>
> To which key?

Airlock: Keeps oxygen from being stolen.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:51 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote in message
> @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sat, 31 Jan 2004 01:43:57 GMT, Alan
wrote:
> > >
> > > >>>Sounds like sharp advice
> > > >>
> > > >>Try to really avoid the ones named "Barb-y."
> > > >
> > > >You met Barb Dwyer?
> > >
> > > Yeah, but I was sorta on the fence about her.
> >
> > Offense or defense?
>
> I put up offense once but after a very strong wind I found that
defense had
> fallen down!

D. Fense: A demonic barrier between two yards.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:52 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote in message
> @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > RUSiriusA wrote:
> >
> > > In article ,
> > > Pierre Abbat wrote:
> > >
> > > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Jonners wrote:
> > > > >> Was God's messenger to Noah an Ark Angel?
> > > > >
> > > > > Speaking of Angels:
> > > > > Was the reason Noah had to build his ship in
> > > > > the first place the Ark Sin?
> > > >
> > > > I suppose so - then he lay on the deck and got an Ark Tan.
> > >
> > > Was it up north that he got the Ark Tic?
> >
> > No, he got the Ant Ark Tic in the south.
>
> And he noted the fact in his log using a pen guin.

A log table?
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 4:52 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote in message
> @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > RUSiriusA wrote:
> >
> > > In article ,
> > > Pierre Abbat wrote:
> > >
> > > > Hauke Reddmann wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Jonners wrote:
> > > > >> Was God's messenger to Noah an Ark Angel?
> > > > >
> > > > > Speaking of Angels:
> > > > > Was the reason Noah had to build his ship in
> > > > > the first place the Ark Sin?
> > > >
> > > > I suppose so - then he lay on the deck and got an Ark Tan.
> > >
> > > Was it up north that he got the Ark Tic?
> >
> > No, he got the Ant Ark Tic in the south.
>
> And he noted the fact in his log using a pen guin.

A natural log, or a base 10 log?
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:01 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote in message
> @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening wrote in message
> > > @pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Bahrain: Sheep precipitation.
> > > >
> > > > Cuba: Line of sheep.
> > > >
> > > > Tuba: Two sheep.
> > > >
> > > > Yuba: You are a sheep.
> > >
> > > Euphonium: Imitation of a Eugenuinium.
> >
> > Reba: Sheep again.
>
> A cartoon character who has changed from pouring concrete to carpet-fitting:
> "A rebar! A rebar! Underlay Underlay!!"

Amigo: I am departing.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:06 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:06 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:06 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:06 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
Boozing: Singing ghost.

Hosing: Singing hooker.

Losing: Singing toilet.
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Tim Bruening



Joined: 04 Aug 2007
Posts: 4472
PostPosted: Fri Feb 09, 2007 5:08 am    Post subject: 2 To The First, 2 To The Third Puns Reply with quote
James King wrote:

> In article , Tim Bruening
> wrote:
>
> > Bounding: Captive bell.
> >
> > Conversant: Talking ant that's up to date.
> >
> > D. Ceive: Tricky demon.
> >
> > Encounter: Counter #14.
> >
> > Excell: Former jail.
> >
> > Excell: Former microorganism.
>
> Excell: Where divorced persons may go in the afterlife (although there

> are exceptions [ex-heavens].)

Exhale: A former welcome.
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