When Queen Elizabeth heard rumors that Parliament was planning to tax the
royal family on the same basis as private individuals, she began searching
for a good tax advisor. She asked several billionaires and each whispered,
"Max Pincus". She turned to the Intelligence services to locate Max Pincus
and received a report. Max, the report said, lives in Brooklyn, New York
where he makes a living betting on horses at OTB. However, the report went
on, there are rumors about Max making huge fees as an unregistered tax
advisor. But since he is a heavy contributor to both political parties, the
IRS and the rest of the government leaves him alone.

Through her embassy, it was arranged for Max to travel to London on a RAF
transport and meet with the Queen secretly. "Have your husband and your
accountant there," Max e-mailed.

At the palace, Max pored over the Queen's complicated financial reports. She
was known to be the richest woman in the world and Max took his time reading
every paper. Finally, after two days of reading and questioning, he sat down
with the Queen, Prince Philip and two chartered accountants.

"Foist," Max said, "because I got a Brooklyn accent, I will speak slowly.
However, there are some woids better said in Yiddish, so if I use any, axe
me fer a translation, but it won't be as good."

"Queenie, you should shtup some gelt into trust funds for the aineklach.
Forever you ain't gonna live and the inheritance taxes will fressen up your
estate vi a chazzer. Next, you should write out of your will that shmegegi,
your son Charles. He has enough estate to feed the Weimeraner he married and
he ain't gonna have no more kids."

"Then you should move your tuchus and quickly set up a couple trusts for any
charities you want to help." But before he could continue, Philip
interrupted. "I say. I would prefer if you would speak English. And I must
insist on more respect when addressing her majesty."

Elizabeth turned to the Prince and, with a withering glance, said, "Phillip,
please stop the narishkeit and let Mr. Pincus proceed. He obviously has the
sechel I need to cover my ass."

Archived from group: rec>humor>jewish