AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES



1 If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and
presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with your partner about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives. Then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer
and you will forget about the toothache.

8 Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of
life really are: You only need two tools: WD-40 and
Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't
move and does, use the duct tape.

9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to
know them.

10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
another chance.

12. And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need them to
empty your bedpan.

--


Shalom/Salaam/Pax! Rowland Croucher

http://jmm.aaa.net.au/ (20,000 articles 4000 humor)

Blogs - http://rowlandsblogs.blogspot.com/

Justice for Dawn Rowan - http://dawnrowansaga.blogspot.com/

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