St.Valentine's Day is yet another of those compulsory commercialised days of
the year foisted on a reluctant public. Ideal for retail trade, but burden
for rest of us.
So, you don't give your girlfriend anything (in defiance of the trend) -
she'll immediately think you don't love her.
Or, you give her something which is cheaper than last year's present - you
love her less.
Or, you give her something dearer, then next year, etc (there's no upper
limit) - her expectations keep rising.
But Mike decided to commemorate the Day a bit differently than in the
past, so he sent invitations to all his ex-girlfriends (who'd dumped him),
lined them up against a wall, and machine-gunned the lot of them.

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