Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson today hit out at the
"Manchester City morons" whom he claimed had ruined the commemoration of the
fiftieth anniversary of the Munich air disaster at Old Trafford yesterday.

"I have no compwaints about the supporters," he said. "Their behaviour
duwing the minute's silence was exempwawy. Exempwawy. Unfortunately the
pwayers let the fans down by winning the match. Didn't they wealise that
this was supposed to be United's day? City were onwy there to make up the
numbers - the idea was that we would win easiwy as a twibute to those who
died in Munich!" His face becoming a darker and darker purple, he went on:
"It just goes to show that you can't twust anybody these days. This was
United's day and the City mowons have wuined it!"

At this point Sir Alex's head exploded, much to the alarm of the assembled
press. However a club spokesman later announced that this happened every
other week during the half-time team talks, and stressed that Sir Alex would
be all right after a wee lie down.
--
Gordon Davie
Edinburgh, Scotland

"Slipped the surly bonds of Earth...to touch the face of God"

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