http://www.jokemoz.com/Funny-Reruns-f6.html Funny Reruns: Recent 20 threads http://www.jokemoz.com/COBOL-programming-anyone-t70288.html Sick of writing C/Pascal/Ada? This is probably enough to make COBOL programming very attractive: An ad in Tuesday's Australian, back page, right-hand column: (copied without permission) BANKING EXPR NOT NECESSARY (4)COBOL PROGS.......To 434K++ Low Interest Loans 19 Day Mon.. Tue, 26 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/The-C-programmer-s-wedding-t70249.html Background: In January 1995, two of our friends, Darren and Kona, eloped while overseas (in San Fransisco actually). As part of a farewell for them prior to them going to Cambridge to further their acedemic careers the following ceremony was held. It is original. See http://www.cs.monash.e.. Mon, 25 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/It-s-a-business-t70236.html A stuttering man finally decides to go to the doctor to see if his speech impediment can be cured. The doctor thoroughly examines the man and finally asks him to drop his pants. Out comes this gigantic dick and the doctor pronounces the root of the problem to be strain on the vocal chords fr.. Sun, 24 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/How-to-read-electronics-advertising-t70199.html This was posted to a Sun-local newsgroup. Apparently it originated at HP. When It Says: |It Really Means: -------------- |---------------- Available Now! |We overstocked / We can't sell any. |(Alternative: We.. Sat, 23 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Senator-Bono-t70182.html A friend of mine told me the other day that Sonny Bono was thinking of running for the Senate in California. If Sonny Bono becomes Senator Bono, does that mean we have to find a different nickname for Teddy Kennedy? -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann a.. Fri, 22 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Barbara-Bush-s-Wardrobe-t70146.html Q: What does Barbara Bush do with her old clothes ? A: Wear them. -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Visit http://www.netfunny.com/rhf to browse the RHF pages an.. Thu, 21 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/A-Pointed-Warning-t70137.html I found this warning on a small utility knife in MIT's lab supply: Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children. -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.humor.funny. Web user.. Wed, 20 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/male-bathroom-rules-t70112.html [We thought of this late one night...] A GUIDE TO PROPER ETIQUETTE IN THE MEN'S RESTROOM Ever since man crawled out of the primordial ooze, he has built himself structures to contain the processes of bodily waste removal. These have been known as "restrooms," "bathrooms," "ou.. Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Two-old-folks-jokes-t70091.html I heard these from my father, who heard them from a friend, etc. They're definitely not original. A young man is jogging through a park when he sees an old man sitting on a bench sobbing. Concerned, he stops by the bench. "Is there anything I can do for you, sir?" "Oh," sobs the old man.. Mon, 18 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Actual-quote-t70068.html I think Congress has spent enough time on ethics. I think it's time they moved on to something else. --Richard Nixon, June 28, 1989 -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann and Jim Griffith. This newsgroup posts former jokes from the newsgroup rec.hu.. Sun, 17 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Salescritter-says-t70054.html I heard this one at work, supposedly true, but maybe apocryphal. A TLC [Three Letter Company] salescritter was overheard telling a potential customer: "You have to be careful not to get locked into Open Systems." -- From the RHF archives as selected by Brad Templeton, Maddi Hausmann.. Sat, 16 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/The-first-clean-sheep-joke-I-ever-heard-t69986.html Substitute <ethnic origin> below for the place of origin of any ethnic group not locally renowned for high intelligence. ------------------------------------------------ A man walks up to a New Zealand sheep farmer and says "If I can tell you exactly how many sheep you have d.. Wed, 13 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/API-Contracept-Strategy-IPA-IN-666-t69889.html CEO document contents: Document Reference: IPA/IN/666 Issue: Draft 42 Date: 15/04/83 No of Pages 4. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Author(s): Kurt Jenner Status: Definitive --------------------------------------.. Sat, 9 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Caddyshack-t69872.html I got this from one of those "joke of the day calendars" that someone gave me for Christmas.... He was 26 over par by the eighth hole, had landed a fleet of golf balls in the water hazard, and dug himself into a trench fighting his way out of the rough, when his caddy coughed during a 12-inc.. Fri, 8 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Computer-Science-Educational-Breakthrough-t69806.html HORIZONS IN COMPUTER SCIENCE EDUCATIONAL TECHNOLOGY By Ross Williams 3 June 1988. Recent studies have shown that while undergraduate students are more intelligent than kindergarten students, the mentality and attention span of the two groups are similar. With this in .. Tue, 5 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/More-anecdotes-on-old-institutions-t69778.html My two favourite anecdotes on this subject demonstrate the difference between renewable and non-renewable resources. First the non-renewable: The congregation of a small stone church (in England?) decided that the stone which formed the step up to the front door had become two worn by its .. Mon, 4 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Converting-Pi-to-binary-DON-T-DO-IT-t69751.html [Forwarded from comp.risks, written by Keith F. Lynch <kfl@keithlynch.net>, posted with his permission - ed.] WARNING: Do NOT calculate Pi in binary. It is conjectured that this number is normal, meaning that it contains ALL finite bit strings. If you compute it, you will be guilty of: .. Sun, 3 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Single-and-in-New-York-t69740.html (My sister commented to me yesterday about an amusing joke in the New York Times Magazine Section:) How does a single woman in New York get rid of cockroaches? She asks them for a commitment. -- rec.humor.funny.reruns is a moderated newsgroup. If you are seeing postings in the group .. Sat, 2 Feb 2008 19:20:02 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Introduction-to-REC-HUMOR-FUNNY-RERUNS-Monthly-Posting-t69732.html Archive-name: usenet/rec-humor-funny/reruns-intro [Note: Any news of importance will be posted in a general message. If you have read these before, there is no need to read them again.] Welcome to rec.humor.funny.reruns, which features selections from the voluminous rec.humor.funny humor .. Sat, 2 Feb 2008 06:35:01 PST http://www.jokemoz.com/Gorbachev-Joke-t69727.html Time reporter: Mr. President, what do you feel would have been the difference in the world scenario if instead of Kennedy, Kruschev had been assassinated? (Gorbachev thinks for a while, then replies pensively) Gorbachev : I doubt if Onassis would have.. Fri, 1 Feb 2008 19:20:01 PST