Harsh words from the captain.

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when he
caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
reason?

A: He gave him a stern talking-to!

Archived from group: alt>humor>puns

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
"nemo" wrote:

> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when he
> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
> reason?
>
> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!

Bow-ing to the inevitable?
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Richard Knowlton · Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 18

Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message @news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> "nemo" wrote:
>
>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when
>> he
>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
>> reason?
>>
>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
>
> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> --
> Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
> "Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
> All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
> and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
"Richard Knowlton" wrote:

> Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> @news.supernews.com...
> > In article ,
> > "nemo" wrote:
> >
> >> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when
> >> he
> >> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
> >> reason?
> >>
> >> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> >
> > Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
Bilge!!!
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
Sir F. A. Rien wrote:

> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
>
> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> >@news.supernews.com...
> >> In article ,
> >> "nemo" wrote:
> >>
> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when
> >>> he
> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
> >>> reason?
> >>>
> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> >>
> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
>
> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"

And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Richard Knowlton · Joined: 27 Jan 2008 Posts: 18

Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message @news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> Sir F. A. Rien wrote:
>
>> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
>>
>> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
>> >@news.supernews.com...
>> >> In article ,
>> >> "nemo" wrote:
>> >>
>> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy
>> >>> when
>> >>> he
>> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no
>> >>> good
>> >>> reason?
>> >>>
>> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
>> >>
>> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
>> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
>>
>> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
>
> And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
> --
> Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
> "Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
> All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
> and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
"Richard Knowlton" wrote:

> Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> @news.supernews.com...
> > In article ,
> > Sir F. A. Rien wrote:
> >
> >> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
> >>
> >> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> >> >@news.supernews.com...
> >> >> In article ,
> >> >> "nemo" wrote:
> >> >>
> >> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy
> >> >>> when
> >> >>> he
> >> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no
> >> >>> good
> >> >>> reason?
> >> >>>
> >> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> >> >>
> >> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> >> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> >>
> >> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
> >
> > And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
> Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
Trying to ketch the bargain hunters!
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message@news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> "nemo" wrote:
>
> > Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy when
he
> > caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
> > reason?
> >
> > A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
>
> Bow-ing to the inevitable?

He dismissed him in the end, so not only did he lose his job, but he lost
his freeboard and lodging as well!

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message@news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> "Richard Knowlton" wrote:
>
> > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> > "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > @news.supernews.com...
> > > In article ,
> > > Sir F. A. Rien wrote:
> > >
> > >> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
> > >>
> > >> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > >> >@news.supernews.com...
> > >> >> In article ,
> > >> >> "nemo" wrote:
> > >> >>
> > >> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin
boy
> > >> >>> when
> > >> >>> he
> > >> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for
no
> > >> >>> good
> > >> >>> reason?
> > >> >>>
> > >> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> > >> >>
> > >> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > >> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> > >>
> > >> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
> > >
> > > And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
> > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> Trying to ketch the bargain hunters!

Yawl have to barge your way down Oxford Street to the January sails for
those.

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

OK. I'll pop toast as well! Where's the strawberry jam? . . .

He could see in the dark that cabin boy as well. He had capsize!

"Richard Knowlton" wrote in message$YL3.3@trndny05...
> Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> @news.supernews.com...
> > In article ,
> > "nemo" wrote:
> >
> >> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy
when
> >> he
> >> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no good
> >> reason?
> >>
> >> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> >
> > Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > --
> > Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
> > "Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
> > All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
> > and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc
>
>

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

"Sir F. A. Rien" wrote in message@4ax.com...
> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
>
> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> >@news.supernews.com...
> >> In article ,
> >> "nemo" wrote:
> >>
> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy
when
> >>> he
> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no
good
> >>> reason?
> >>>
> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> >>
> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
>
> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"

He was a Spaneesh pirate?

Q: What's the Spanish pirate?

A: 2000 Pesetas for a steak and kiderney one and 500 for a small apple one.

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
"nemo" wrote:

> "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> @news.supernews.com...
> > In article ,
> > "Richard Knowlton" wrote:
> >
> > > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> > > "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > > @news.supernews.com...
> > > > In article ,
> > > > Sir F. A. Rien wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
> > > >>
> > > >> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > > >> >@news.supernews.com...
> > > >> >> In article ,
> > > >> >> "nemo" wrote:
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin
> boy
> > > >> >>> when
> > > >> >>> he
> > > >> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for
> no
> > > >> >>> good
> > > >> >>> reason?
> > > >> >>>
> > > >> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> > > >> >>
> > > >> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > > >> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> > > >>
> > > >> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
> > > >
> > > > And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
> > > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> > Trying to ketch the bargain hunters!
>
> Yawl have to barge your way down Oxford Street to the January sails for
> those.

Frigate it -- the crowds make that idea a royal pain
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

Michael N. LeVine · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 1222

In article ,
"nemo" wrote:

> "Sir F. A. Rien" wrote in message
> @4ax.com...
> > "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
> >
> > >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > >@news.supernews.com...
> > >> In article ,
> > >> "nemo" wrote:
> > >>
> > >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin boy
> when
> > >>> he
> > >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no
> good
> > >>> reason?
> > >>>
> > >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> > >>
> > >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> >
> > As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
>
> He was a Spaneesh pirate?
>
> Q: What's the Spanish pirate?
>
> A: 2000 Pesetas for a steak and kiderney one and 500 for a small apple one.

Now if someone tries to work in "The Pie rates of penn's aunt's"
is going to leave me felling very sullivan.
--
Michael LeVine - mlevine@redshift.com
"Thirty days hath September, April, June and November.
All the rest have thirty one except for Gypsy Rose Lee
and every one knew what she had" - Mel Blanc

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message@news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> "nemo" wrote:
>
> > "Sir F. A. Rien" wrote in message
> > @4ax.com...
> > > "Richard Knowlton" found these unused words:
> > >
> > > >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > > >@news.supernews.com...
> > > >> In article ,
> > > >> "nemo" wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the cabin
boy
> > when
> > > >>> he
> > > >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope for no
> > good
> > > >>> reason?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> > > >>
> > > >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > > >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> > >
> > > As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
> >
> > He was a Spaneesh pirate?
> >
> > Q: What's the Spanish pirate?
> >
> > A: 2000 Pesetas for a steak and kiderney one and 500 for a small apple
one.
>
> Now if someone tries to work in "The Pie rates of penn's aunt's"
> is going to leave me felling very sullivan.

There was also the A4 mentioned lot who used to steal men's trousers from
off of their bums! The Pirates of Men's Pants. Then they'd ceremonially cut
off the trouser-cuffs and stick em in a big album one at a time, shouting,
"There's another turn-up for the book!"

nemo · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 2779

"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message@news.supernews.com...
> In article ,
> "nemo" wrote:
>
> > "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > @news.supernews.com...
> > > In article ,
> > > "Richard Knowlton" wrote:
> > >
> > > > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> > > > "Michael N. LeVine" wrote in message
> > > > @news.supernews.com...
> > > > > In article ,
> > > > > Sir F. A. Rien wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > >> "Richard Knowlton" found these unused
words:
> > > > >>
> > > > >> >"Michael N. LeVine" wrote in
message
> > > > >> >@news.supernews.com...
> > > > >> >> In article ,
> > > > >> >> "nemo" wrote:
> > > > >> >>
> > > > >> >>> Q: Apart from the obvious, what did the captain do to the
cabin
> > boy
> > > > >> >>> when
> > > > >> >>> he
> > > > >> >>> caught him dangling over the rear end of the ship on a rope
for
> > no
> > > > >> >>> good
> > > > >> >>> reason?
> > > > >> >>>
> > > > >> >>> A: He gave him a stern talking-to!
> > > > >> >>
> > > > >> >> Bow-ing to the inevitable?
> > > > >> >Oar trying to avoid that sinking feeling!
> > > > >>
> > > > >> As the Pirate said: "I'll keel haul of you!"
> > > > >
> > > > > And he is rigging the harness now!!!!
> > > > Rigging for profit? Afar sail?
> > > Trying to ketch the bargain hunters!
> >
> > Yawl have to barge your way down Oxford Street to the January sails for
> > those.
>
> Frigate it -- the crowds make that idea a royal pain

Agreed. And people tread on your feet so much in their panic to get at the
barge-gains, they can destroyer good pair of shoes in no time.

OK. Can't resist the temptation any longer . . .

To the tune of Jingle Bells. . . .

Slashing through the dough, in a great big New Year sale,
See those Plastic bills - they will make you wail!
All those silly things - that you don't really need,
Get 'em while they're nice and cheap and make your wallet bleed!

Checkout bills, checkout bills, spending all the way -
Oh what fun it is to try-and-be bankrupt in a day!
Checkout bills, checkout bills, spending all you've got -
Until you realise what you thought you'd got you'd really not!

Credit Rating gone - coz you couldn't really pay.
Then they come and take all those lovely things away!
To the Bailiffs' glee, you start to beg and plead,
To hang onto a few-of-those things you purchased out of greed.

Checkout bills, checkout bills, spending all the way -
Oh what fun it is to try-and-be bankrupt in a day!
Checkout bills, checkout bills, now you've nothing left.
No cash, no goods - an empty house and feeling quite bereft!

Oi!

Harsh actions from the captain. Q: What did the captain of a barge carrying solid fossil fuel do when he found that one of his lightermen had eaten so much when on leave that he'd become a heavierman? A: He had him coal-hauled!

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