Imagine This...

observer · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 27

George Bush truly has a war plan,
And there ain't no gays in Iran,
A taser don't hurt,
All kids hate dessert,
And lims posted here always scan.

Observer

Archived from group: alt>arts>limericks

John Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 214

observer wrote:
> George Bush truly has a war plan,
> And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> A taser don't hurt,
> All kids hate dessert,
> And lims posted here always scan.
>
> Observer
>

Our oceans and rivers are clean,
Our cars and our factories green,
I've got HIV,
You gave it to me,
And good lims are never obscene

--
95,703 FREE limericks at http://hardsoft.us
hardsoft@peoplepc.com (John Miller)

John Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 214

observer wrote:

> George Bush truly has a war plan,
> And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> A taser don't hurt,
> All kids hate dessert,
> And lims posted here always scan.
>
> Observer
>
CokaCola is better than beer,
The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
Young girls need no urgin'
To keep themselves virgin,
And plenty of people post here

--
95,703 FREE limericks at http://hardsoft.us
hardsoft@peoplepc.com (John Miller)

moghouse · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 106

On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
> observer wrote:
> > George Bush truly has a war plan,
> > And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> > A taser don't hurt,
> > All kids hate dessert,
> > And lims posted here always scan.
>
> > Observer
>
> CokaCola is better than beer,
> The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> Young girls need no urgin'
> To keep themselves virgin,
> And plenty of people post here
>
> --
> 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)

My limericks are always sublime
In content and rhythm and rhyme.
Observer's my friend
Until time shall end
And praises my work all the time.

David Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 26

On Oct 6, 1:54 am, moghouse wrote:
> On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > observer wrote:
> > > George Bush truly has a war plan,
> > > And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> > > A taser don't hurt,
> > > All kids hate dessert,
> > > And lims posted here always scan.
>
> > > Observer
>
> > CokaCola is better than beer,
> > The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> > Young girls need no urgin'
> > To keep themselves virgin,
> > And plenty of people post here
>
> > --
> > 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> > hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>
> My limericks are always sublime
> In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> Observer's my friend
> Until time shall end
> And praises my work all the time.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamas say they'll soon embrace peace,
Our Tiddy's allergic to fleece;
I've got a huge dong
About two feet long!
And John Miller's not boffed his niece.

David Miller
"Commend me to your niece." Troilus and Cressida. Act 3 sc 1

John Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 214

David Miller wrote:
[snip]
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Hamas say they'll soon embrace peace,
> Our Tiddy's allergic to fleece;
> I've got a huge dong
> About two feet long!
> And John Miller's not boffed his niece.
>
> David Miller
> "Commend me to your niece." Troilus and Cressida. Act 3 sc 1
>

When I screw her, my goose doesn't squawk;
My Liberal nephew's a hawk;
*My* puny peter
Is barely a meter,
And David does more than just talk.

(Aside:

I must here defend my poor niece!
When younger she was a good piece
But at age 63
She's no good to me
And I've shipped her, pre-paid, off to Greece )

When I screw her, my goose doesn't squawk;
My Liberal nephew's a hawk;
My puny peter
Is only a meter,
And David does more than just talk.

--
95,703 FREE limericks at http://hardsoft.us
hardsoft@peoplepc.com (John Miller)

Tiddy Ogg · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 55

On Sun, 07 Oct 2007 10:39:52 -0500, John Miller
wrote:

>David Miller wrote:
>[snip]
>>
>> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>> Hamas say they'll soon embrace peace,
>> Our Tiddy's allergic to fleece;
>> I've got a huge dong
>> About two feet long!
>> And John Miller's not boffed his niece.
>>
>> David Miller
>> "Commend me to your niece." Troilus and Cressida. Act 3 sc 1
>>
>
>When I screw her, my goose doesn't squawk;
>My Liberal nephew's a hawk;
> *My* puny peter
> Is barely a meter,
>And David does more than just talk.
>
>
>(Aside:
>
>I must here defend my poor niece!
>When younger she was a good piece
> But at age 63
> She's no good to me
>And I've shipped her, pre-paid, off to Greece )
>
>
>When I screw her, my goose doesn't squawk;
>My Liberal nephew's a hawk;
> My puny peter
> Is only a meter,
>And David does more than just talk.
The nanny goats round here say: "Tid,
You look just as young as you did,
When you screwed our gran
In that old horse drawn van,
And she then was only a kid."

Tiddy Ogg.
http://www.tiddyogg.co.uk

observer · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 27

On Oct 5, 9:54 am, moghouse wrote:
> On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > observer wrote:
> > > George Bush truly has a war plan,
> > > And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> > > A taser don't hurt,
> > > All kids hate dessert,
> > > And lims posted here always scan.
>
> > > Observer
>
> > CokaCola is better than beer,
> > The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> > Young girls need no urgin'
> > To keep themselves virgin,
> > And plenty of people post here
>
> > --
> > 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> > hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>
> My limericks are always sublime
> In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> Observer's my friend
> Until time shall end
> And praises my work all the time.

It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
And I must confess
That his skill and success
Has left me darn near suicidal.

Observer

Jon Gearhart · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 17

observer wrote:

> On Oct 5, 9:54 am, moghouse wrote:
>
>>On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>>observer wrote:
>>>
>>>>George Bush truly has a war plan,
>>>>And there ain't no gays in Iran,
>>>> A taser don't hurt,
>>>> All kids hate dessert,
>>>>And lims posted here always scan.
>>
>>>>Observer
>>
>>>CokaCola is better than beer,
>>>The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
>>> Young girls need no urgin'
>>> To keep themselves virgin,
>>>And plenty of people post here
>>
>>>--
>>>95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
>>>hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>>
>>My limericks are always sublime
>>In content and rhythm and rhyme.
>>Observer's my friend
>>Until time shall end
>>And praises my work all the time.
>
>
> It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> And I must confess
> That his skill and success
> Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> Observer

Your first four lines seem to be true
I don't know what you're trying to do
In the opposite game
I like line 5's aim
And I hope "darn near's" opposite too

gearhart

John Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 214

Jon Gearhart wrote:

[snip]

Tony, I guess:

>>> My limericks are always sublime
>>> In content and rhythm and rhyme.
>>> Observer's my friend
>>> Until time shall end
>>> And praises my work all the time.
>>
>> It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
>> And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
>> And I must confess
>> That his skill and success
>> Has left me darn near suicidal.
>>
>> Observer
>
>
> Your first four lines seem to be true
> I don't know what you're trying to do
> In the opposite game
> I like line 5's aim
> And I hope "darn near's" opposite too
>
> gearhart

It's clear that gearhart and Observer
Enjoy being on the same server
And 'cause of their genders
Can do double-enders
With patience, compassion, and fervor.

--
95,703 FREE limericks at http://hardsoft.us
hardsoft@peoplepc.com (John Miller)

moghouse · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 106

On 7 Oct, 18:30, observer wrote:
> On Oct 5, 9:54 am, moghouse wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>
> > > observer wrote:
> > > > George Bush truly has a war plan,
> > > > And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> > > > A taser don't hurt,
> > > > All kids hate dessert,
> > > > And lims posted here always scan.
>
> > > > Observer
>
> > > CokaCola is better than beer,
> > > The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> > > Young girls need no urgin'
> > > To keep themselves virgin,
> > > And plenty of people post here
>
> > > --
> > > 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> > > hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>
> > My limericks are always sublime
> > In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> > Observer's my friend
> > Until time shall end
> > And praises my work all the time.
>
> It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> And I must confess
> That his skill and success
> Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> Observer- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Many share your envious gloom.
Incandescent, they say, I did bloom.
My time is now passed
I'm, alas, a spent blast,
So, like Elvis, I'll vacate the room.

David Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 26

On Oct 8, 9:04 am, moghouse wrote:
> On 7 Oct, 18:30, observer wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > On Oct 5, 9:54 am, moghouse wrote:
>
> > > On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>
> > > > observer wrote:
> > > > > George Bush truly has a war plan,
> > > > > And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> > > > > A taser don't hurt,
> > > > > All kids hate dessert,
> > > > > And lims posted here always scan.
>
> > > > > Observer
>
> > > > CokaCola is better than beer,
> > > > The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> > > > Young girls need no urgin'
> > > > To keep themselves virgin,
> > > > And plenty of people post here
>
> > > > --
> > > > 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> > > > hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>
> > > My limericks are always sublime
> > > In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> > > Observer's my friend
> > > Until time shall end
> > > And praises my work all the time.
>
> > It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> > And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> > And I must confess
> > That his skill and success
> > Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> > Observer- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> Many share your envious gloom.
> Incandescent, they say, I did bloom.
> My time is now passed
> I'm, alas, a spent blast,
> So, like Elvis, I'll vacate the room.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm eating a hamburger bun,
While watching an Elvis rerun;
I'd rather be whoring!
My life is so boring,
I shot the tv with my gun.

David Miller
"Father, I know; and oft have shot at them, Howe'er unfortunate." King
Henry VI. pt 1 Act 1 sc 4

observer · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 27

On Oct 7, 12:26 pm, Jon Gearhart wrote:
> observer wrote:
> > On Oct 5, 9:54 am, moghouse wrote:
>
> >>On 5 Oct, 03:30, John Miller wrote:
>
> >>>observer wrote:
>
> >>>>George Bush truly has a war plan,
> >>>>And there ain't no gays in Iran,
> >>>> A taser don't hurt,
> >>>> All kids hate dessert,
> >>>>And lims posted here always scan.
>
> >>>>Observer
>
> >>>CokaCola is better than beer,
> >>>The Pope is undoubtedly queer,
> >>> Young girls need no urgin'
> >>> To keep themselves virgin,
> >>>And plenty of people post here
>
> >>>--
> >>>95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> >>>hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)
>
> >>My limericks are always sublime
> >>In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> >>Observer's my friend
> >>Until time shall end
> >>And praises my work all the time.
>
> > It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> > And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> > And I must confess
> > That his skill and success
> > Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> > Observer
>
> Your first four lines seem to be true
> I don't know what you're trying to do
> In the opposite game
> I like line 5's aim
> And I hope "darn near's" opposite too
>
> gearhart- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

The net was invented by Gore,
Housecleaning is never a chore,
Car salesmen are truthful,
Liz Taylor is youthful,
And Gearhart and I have rapport.

Observer

George Dance · Joined: 16 Aug 2007 Posts: 2

On Oct 7, 1:02 pm, John Miller wrote:
> Jon Gearhart wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> Tony, I guess:
>
>
> >>> My limericks are always sublime
> >>> In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> >>> Observer's my friend
> >>> Until time shall end
> >>> And praises my work all the time.
>
> >> It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> >> And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> >> And I must confess
> >> That his skill and success
> >> Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> >> Observer
>
> > Your first four lines seem to be true
> > I don't know what you're trying to do
> > In the opposite game
> > I like line 5's aim
> > And I hope "darn near's" opposite too
>
> > gearhart
>
> It's clear that gearhart and Observer
> Enjoy being on the same server
> And 'cause of their genders
> Can do double-enders
> With patience, compassion, and fervor.
>

Your To: line lost some of its parts
So this thread ended up on alt.arts
Where I read it today,
And just had to say:
You all sound like a bunch of old farts.

> --
> 95,703 FREE limericks athttp://hardsoft.us
> hards...@peoplepc.com (John Miller)- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

David Miller · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 26

On Oct 15, 9:51 am, George Dance wrote:
> On Oct 7, 1:02 pm, John Miller wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Jon Gearhart wrote:
>
> > [snip]
>
> > Tony, I guess:
>
> > >>> My limericks are always sublime
> > >>> In content and rhythm and rhyme.
> > >>> Observer's my friend
> > >>> Until time shall end
> > >>> And praises my work all the time.
>
> > >> It's true that ol' Tony's my idol,
> > >> And envy, I've oft had to bridle,
> > >> And I must confess
> > >> That his skill and success
> > >> Has left me darn near suicidal.
>
> > >> Observer
>
> > > Your first four lines seem to be true
> > > I don't know what you're trying to do
> > > In the opposite game
> > > I like line 5's aim
> > > And I hope "darn near's" opposite too
>
> > > gearhart
>
> > It's clear that gearhart and Observer
> > Enjoy being on the same server
> > And 'cause of their genders
> > Can do double-enders
> > With patience, compassion, and fervor.
>
> Your To: line lost some of its parts
> So this thread ended up on alt.arts
> Where I read it today,
> And just had to say:
> You all sound like a bunch of old farts.

> - Show quoted text -
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nothin' starts till the fat lady's sung,
I cavort with and frolic in dung;
George Dance is a male
Too pretty for jail,
And both Tiddy and John are well hung.

David Miller
"Shall we dance?" Love's Labour's Lost. Act 5 sc 2