NJJF: Scottish Jokes

Harry Farkas · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 187

Since we've run out of Jewish jokes, I've switched to Scottish jokes. Here's
a sample from
http://www.scotlandvacations.com/scottishhumour.htm

A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a
part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls
and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."

--
Harry Farkas
***************
Ah, to be young again... and a robot.
-- Professor Farnsworth

Archived from group: rec>humor>jewish

Leon · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 309

"Harry Farkas" wrote in message @wideopenwest.com...
> Since we've run out of Jewish jokes, I've switched to Scottish jokes.
> Here's a sample from
> http://www.scotlandvacations.com/scottishhumour.htm
>
> A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a
> part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
> The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls
> and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
>

Two Scots met in the company cafeteria. "Och, Sandy," said the first man, "I
heerd yer son had a mighty bar mitzvah." The second guy nodded, "Aye, Comus,
that he did."

The first man asked, "Is there any reason you didna ask me to the doings?"
The second man nodded, "Aye, Comus, that there is."

Comus asked, "Noo then, Sandy, why didna you ask us?" Sandy shrugged, "You
daven too loud." Comus was stunned. "What makes you say I daven too loud?
What's wrong with davening loud?"

Sandy looked at him and said, "Everybody hears when you close wi' 'In the
name of the father, the son and the holy ghost'. And then you cross yourself
and sprinkle everybody aroond you."

"Weel," Comus replied, "I am a priest, you know."

Leon

Marvin · Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 38

Harry Farkas wrote:
> Since we've run out of Jewish jokes, I've switched to Scottish jokes. Here's
> a sample from
> http://www.scotlandvacations.com/scottishhumour.htm
>
> A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a
> part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
> The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls
> and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
>
> --
> Harry Farkas
> ***************
> Ah, to be young again... and a robot.
> -- Professor Farnsworth
>
>
I thought that was an ethnic joke, as in "An ethnic walked
into a bar ..."

Dick Adams · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 38

I once dated a woman who was 1/4 Scottish, 1/4 Irish,
and 1/2 Jewish. She was a cheap drunk who wanted me
to beg.

Dick

Mike O'Sullivan · Joined: 25 Feb 2008 Posts: 1

Harry Farkas wrote:
> Since we've run out of Jewish jokes, I've switched to Scottish jokes. Here's
> a sample from
> http://www.scotlandvacations.com/scottishhumour.htm
>
> A Scots boy came home from school and told his mother he had been given a
> part in the school play. "Wonderful," says the mother, "What part is it?"
> The boy says "I play the part of the Scottish husband!" The mother scowls
> and says: "Go back and tell your teacher you want a speaking part."
>

A mother told her son that she was going to a seance, "I just want to
get in touch with your father". The son said "He never spoke to you when
he was alive, why should he start now"?

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