It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
Admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven, you
had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into
effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01, Tom was the first
person to come to the gates of Heaven.

St Peter, remembering the new policy, promptly said to Tom, "Before I let
you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died."

"No problem," Tom said. "I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch
hour and caught my wife half naked and appearing to be having an affair, but
her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My
wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was
about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that
there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that
guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he
fell to the ground. But wouldn't you know it, he landed in some trees and
bushes that broke his fall and he didn't die. This ticked me off even more.
In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on
to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the
refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it
over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and crushed him! The excitement of
the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost
instantly."

St Peter sat back and thought a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad
day. It was a crime of passion. So, St Peter announces, "OK Tom. Welcome
to the Kingdom of Heaven," and let him in.

A few seconds later Dick came up. St Peter said, "Before I can let you in,
I need to hear about what your day was like when you died."

Dick said, "No problem, but you're not going to believe this. I was on the
balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been
under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress.
I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the
side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the finger tips on the balcony
below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his
apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well, of course I
fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom which broke my fall so I
didn't die right away. As I'm laying there face up on the ground, unable to
move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all
things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me
killing me instantly."

St Peter is quietly laughing to himself as Dick finishes his story. "I could
get used to this new policy," he thinks to himself. "Very well," St Peter
announces. "Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven," and he lets Dick in.

A few seconds later, Harry comes up to the gate. St Peter says "Harry,
please tell me what it was like the day you died."

Harry says, "OK, picture this. I'm naked inside this refrigerator..."

--
Enzo

I wear the cheese. It does not wear me.

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