Scottish MD

dweebken · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 18

A doctor in Scotland wanted to get off work and go hunting,
so he approached His assistant. Fergus ", I am goin huntin
tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take
care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
"Yes, sir!" answers Fergus.

The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks:
"So, Fergus, how was your day?"

Fergus told him that he took care of three patients.
"The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
"Bravo, Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

The second one had stomach burning and I gave him
MAALOX, sir,"says Fergus.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the
third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens
and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses
herself, taking off everything including her bra and
Her panties and lies down on the table. She spreads
her legs and shouts:
'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!"

"Thunderin' Lard Jayzus, Fergus, what did ye do?" asks
the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes " !!

Archived from group: aus>jokes

Don H · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 104

"dweebken" wrote in message$0$12282$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
> A doctor in Scotland wanted to get off work and go hunting,
> so he approached His assistant. Fergus ", I am goin huntin
> tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take
> care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".
> "Yes, sir!" answers Fergus.
>
> The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks:
> "So, Fergus, how was your day?"
>
> Fergus told him that he took care of three patients.
> "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL."
> "Bravo, Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.
>
> The second one had stomach burning and I gave him
> MAALOX, sir,"says Fergus.
>
> "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the
> third one?" asks the doctor.
>
> "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens
> and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses
> herself, taking off everything including her bra and
> Her panties and lies down on the table. She spreads
> her legs and shouts:
> 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!"
>
> "Thunderin' Lard Jayzus, Fergus, what did ye do?" asks
> the doctor.
>
> "I put drops in her eyes " !!
===========================================
# Ah, I think I've seen that'n posted here before, so I'll respond in kind:
===============
Mugger: "Ya money, or ya life!"
Scotsman: "Take me life, 'cos I'm saving my money for me auld age."
===============
Geography test: "Where is Scotland?"
Young girl's answer: "It is on top of England."
(which pleased her Scottish relatives no end.)
===============

The Scottish Lad A young Scottish lad and a young Scottish lass are holding hands and gazing out over a beautiful Loch. After a few minutes, the girl says to the boy, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "I was thinkin' ... perhaps it's time we had a wee cuddle." Blushing,

The Scottish Musician A clarinet player from Louth Would put everything in her mouth. She'd give you a toot On your big pink flute, Then she'd send it on tour down South.

Scottish Dentist A Scotsman phones a dentist to enquire about the cost for a tooth extraction. "£85 for an extraction, sir" the dentist replied. "£85!!! Huv ye no'got anythin' cheaper?" "That's the normal charge," said the dentist. "Whit aboot if ye didnae use any anesthe

Scottish Wedding Two Scots, Archie and Jock, are sitting in the pub discussing Jock's forthcoming wedding. "Ach, it's all going magic," says Jock. "I've got everything organised already: the flowers, the church, the cars, the reception, the rings, the minister, even ma st

A scottish soldier goes to a pharmacy A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the druggist. The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandana, opens it to reveal a smaller silk square which he unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has a numb