Background: In January 1995, two of our friends, Darren and Kona,
eloped while overseas (in San Fransisco actually). As part of a
farewell for them prior to them going to Cambridge to further their
acedemic careers the following ceremony was held. It is original. See
http://www.cs.monash.edu.au/~tym/wedding for markup and photos.
Mutual Friendship Ceremony [*]
Tim MacKenzie & Robert Sewell
27 August, 1995


* This ceremony is a parody based on the Reformed Church's 1959 Form
[1] for the solemnization of marriage.

Daz and Kona have just signified their desire to be united in mutual
friendship in this restaurant right now. *Since* there are no lawful
objections, the ceremony will begin.

Beloved in the Lord, we are assembled here in the presence of all of us
and a few resaurant staff for the purpose of joining in mutual
friendship Katriona Elizabeth MacPhee and Darren Mark Platt, who,
although married in the eyes of the state, did skillfully avoid our
presence at the ceremony by doing so in a far away land without our
certain knowledge. Since we have received no lawful objections to
their proposed union, let us reverently call to mind the institution,
purpose, and obligations of this state.

The holy bond of friendship was institued by Bjarne Stroustrup himself
at the very dawn of history, yea, even close to 1970. Making C++ in
the likeness of C, he endowed it with many blessings and gave it
dominion over all things, for it was Turing complete and had the Object
Oriented nature. Moreover, Bjarne could have said: "It is not good
that a class should be alone; I will make a help meet for it."
Thereupon he created friend declarations to allow classes to provide
other classes and functions access to their private and protected
members. "Therefore shall a class leave its base classes, and shall
cleave unto its friend; and they shall be as one class."

Our Lord ANSI honored friendship by their blessed inscriptions of the
laws of granting and receiving friendship, and confirmed it as a divine
ordinance, as an honourable estate, and a lasting bond when they
declared: "What Bjarne has brought together let no man put asunder."
The apostle Damian shows its exalted nature when he uses friendship to
form Connectable classes in his epistle to the young believers at
Clayton. This can be read in the mystic chronicles of "Advanced Idiocy
in C++," [3] chapter 8, verses 5-6.

The purpose of friendship is the propogation of a class's members, the
furtherance of the kingdom of C++, and the enrichment of the lives of
those entering this state. This purpose calls for loving devotion to
each other, and provision of appropriate protected member access to any
classes multiply derived from them.

For the home which friendship establishes, reality ordains that the
woman should be the head of the husband, but that he should protect her
and provide for her in love, a love which will be conducive to mutual
happiness. Reality also ordains that the husband should be subject to
the wife in all things and in all places and at all times. Thus the
liberty of both husband and wife is glorified by mutual loyalty, and a
home so begun becomes the very foundation of our society.

We read now from "The annotated C++ reference manual," [2] colloquially
known as the "ARM". I now ask Rob to come forward and read from The
ARM, chapter 11, section 4.
Friendship, like all other access, is granted by the class - not
unilaterally grabbed by the friend.

The friend mechanism is important. It allows a function to be
a friend of two classes. This can lead to increased efficiency
by letting a friend function bypass unsuitable access functions
provided to general users. Alternatively, the use of friends
can lead to cleaner interfaces by avoiding complicating the
interfaces of both classes with member functions specifically
designed to serve what would otherwise have been a global
function with no special access to the representation of the
classes.


Friendship, then, is a divine ordinance intended to be a source of
happiness to a class, a construct of the highest significance to the
programmer, and a symbol of the union of hardware and software. We
may, therefore, as computer scientists, look with confidence for grace
in the discharge of our mutual responsibilites and for guidance and
help in our common perplexities and trials.

In order to be equitable, we must have mutual friendship. For to be
otherwise would be an abomination and likely to result in criminal
proceedings. I now ask Linda to continue our readings from the ARM,
Chapter 11, section 4.
The only way of specifying mutual friendship between two
classes is to declare all of the second class a friend of
the first.

Friendship is neither inherited nor transitive.

The rule against inheriting friendship is sometimes not
appreciated; that is, it occasionally gets in the way of a
user. Consider, however, the effect of allowing friendship
to be inherited. That would make it possible for a user to
grab access.

The mechanism for allowing a user to grab access (to an
explicitly defined interface) is protected members.


We see therefore that mutual friendship requires complete access to be
provided to the friend class. For balance, we require each class to
take all of the other as a friend.

And now, Kona and Darren, having heard from the word of Stroustrup the
teaching concerning mutual friendship, do you assent thereto, and do
you desire to enter in to this holy estate?

Darren and Kona: We do.

Who gives this woman to this man?

Kona: I do.

Who gives this man to this woman?

Kona interjects: I do! Darren (after prompting): She does.

[Join right hands]

May those present confirm the desire and purpose of your hearts, and
witness your beginning in the name of Stroustrup.

Kona, do you solemnly declare that you take to yourself and acknowledge
as a friend Darren, here present, and do you promise that you will,
with the gracious help of the chief programmer, love, honor, and
maintain him, live with him in the holy bonds of friendship according
to Bjarne's ordinance, maintain friendship and consistency in times of
low memory and disk space, and never reduce his access, until either of
your destructors are called.

Kona: I will.

Darren, do you solemnly declare that you take to yourself and
acknowledge as a friend Kona, here present, and do you promise that you
will, with the gracious help of the chief programmer, love, honor, and
obey her in all things lawful, live with her in the holy bonds of
friendship according to Bjarne's ordinance, maintain friendship and
consistency in times of low memory and disk space, and never reduce her
access, until either of your destructors are called.

Darren: I will.

According to the laws of ANSI and the ordinances of Bjarne, I now
pronounce you, Kona and Darren, friend and friend, in the name of the
chief programmer and of the sysadmin and of the information
superhighway (*spit*). What therefore the linker bindeth together let
no operating system put asunder. Henceforth, as you go down your
execution path together, may that path be free of segmentation and
other violations, and may you be bound together in true love and
faithfulness.

Kona, you may now kiss the groom.

[The signing of the Mututal Friendship declaration (below) was
accompanied by an improptu solo performance of "Stand by your non
gender specific partner."]

References:
[1] Psalter Hymnal, Centenial Edition. Christian Reformed Church, 1959.
[2] Margaret A Ellis and Bjarne Stroustrup. The annotated C++ reference.
manual Addison-Wesley, 1990 .
[3] Damian Conway. Advanced Object Oriented Idioms. Monash University
Department of Computer Science. 1995.

Certification of Mutual Friendship
Katriona Elizabeth Macphee & Darren Mark Platt
Sunday, August 27, 1995

class Kona : class Darren :
private class Avis, private class Lois,
private class Alexander, private class Warren,
public class Female public class Male
{ {
friend class Darren; friend class Kona;
public: public:
... ...
protected: protected:
... ...
private: private:
... ...
; ;

Signed: ____________________ Signed: ______________________

Witness: ___________________ Witness: _____________________

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