The Vampire

Dick Adams · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 38

Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep
by the fluttering of a bat swooping through the
window into her bedroom

She watches as the bat transforms itself into
a vampire. Too terrified to speak, she grabs
a crucifix from her nightstand and holds it
out with trembling hands.

The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
"Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"

Archived from group: rec>humor>jewish

Hal Hanig · Joined: 04 Aug 2007 Posts: 154

Dick Adams wrote:
> Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep
> by the fluttering of a bat swooping through the
> window into her bedroom
>
> She watches as the bat transforms itself into
> a vampire. Too terrified to speak, she grabs
> a crucifix from her nightstand and holds it
> out with trembling hands.
>
> The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
> on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
> "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"

That's the same punch line I've used for years to explain why the Notre Dame
football team was beating the bejesus outta the Yeshiva team, even after the
Yeshiva QB, in desperation, started calling the signals in Yiddish. That's
exactly what the Notre Dame defensive left tackle told his opposing lineman.

Cyberbilly · Joined: 26 Nov 2007 Posts: 7

On Feb 6, 1:26 am, "Hal Hanig" wrote:
> Dick Adams wrote:
> > Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep
> > by the fluttering of a bat swooping through the
> > window into her bedroom
>
> > She watches as the bat transforms itself into
> > a vampire. Too terrified to speak, she grabs
> > a crucifix from her nightstand and holds it
> > out with trembling hands.
>
> > The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
> > on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
> > "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"
>
> That's the same punch line I've used for years to explain why the Notre Dame
> football team was beating the bejesus outta the Yeshiva team, even after the
> Yeshiva QB, in desperation, started calling the signals in Yiddish. That's
> exactly what the Notre Dame defensive left tackle told his opposing lineman.

Care to explain it to us goy boys?

-CB

Kenneth Brody · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 60

Cyberbilly wrote:
>
> On Feb 6, 1:26 am, "Hal Hanig" wrote:
> > Dick Adams wrote:
[...]
> > > The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
> > > on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
> > > "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"
> >
> > That's the same punch line I've used for years to explain why the Notre Dame
> > football team was beating the bejesus outta the Yeshiva team, even after the
> > Yeshiva QB, in desperation, started calling the signals in Yiddish. That's
> > exactly what the Notre Dame defensive left tackle told his opposing lineman.
>
> Care to explain it to us goy boys?

I assume you mean the punchline for the vampire joke? Basically, it
means "it won't help you". (I think it's closer to "it is of no help".)

I assume you get the joke that the a Yiddish-speaking vampire will
probably not be afraid of a crucifix.

--
+-------------------------+--------------------+-----------------------+
| Kenneth J. Brody | www.hvcomputer.com | #include |
| kenbrody/at\spamcop.net | www.fptech.com | |
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Don't e-mail me at:

Wayne S. · Joined: 08 Aug 2007 Posts: 1

On 2/6/08 08:37 AM, Cyberbilly wrote:
> On Feb 6, 1:26 am, "Hal Hanig" wrote:
>
>> Dick Adams wrote:
>>
>>> Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep
>>> by the fluttering of a bat swooping through the
>>> window into her bedroom
>>>
>>> She watches as the bat transforms itself into
>>> a vampire. Too terrified to speak, she grabs
>>> a crucifix from her nightstand and holds it
>>> out with trembling hands.
>>>
>>> The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
>>> on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
>>> "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"
>>>
>> That's the same punch line I've used for years to explain why the Notre Dame
>> football team was beating the bejesus outta the Yeshiva team, even after the
>> Yeshiva QB, in desperation, started calling the signals in Yiddish. That's
>> exactly what the Notre Dame defensive left tackle told his opposing lineman.
>>
>
> Care to explain it to us goy boys?
>
> -CB
>
>
"Es vet dir gornisht helfen" = "it won’t help you"

Kenneth Brody · Joined: 07 Aug 2007 Posts: 60

Dick Adams wrote:
>
> Late at night, a woman is woken from her sleep
> by the fluttering of a bat swooping through the
> window into her bedroom
>
> She watches as the bat transforms itself into
> a vampire. Too terrified to speak, she grabs
> a crucifix from her nightstand and holds it
> out with trembling hands.
>
> The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
> on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
> "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"

Way back in high school, we saw a movie called, "Fearless Vampire
Slayers (or: Pardon Me, But Your Teeth are in My Neck)" by Roman
Polanski. At one point, when a young woman holds up a cross to
the vampire, he replys "Oy vey, have you got the wrong vampire".
(I don't remember much else about that movie, other than that it
was "weird".)

--
+-------------------------+--------------------+-----------------------+
| Kenneth J. Brody | www.hvcomputer.com | #include |
| kenbrody/at\spamcop.net | www.fptech.com | |
+-------------------------+--------------------+-----------------------+
Don't e-mail me at:

Cyberbilly · Joined: 26 Nov 2007 Posts: 7

On Feb 6, 2:46 pm, Kenneth Brody wrote:
> Cyberbilly wrote:
>
> > On Feb 6, 1:26 am, "Hal Hanig" wrote:
> > > Dick Adams wrote:
> [...]
> > > > The vampire's eye brighten and his face takes
> > > > on an evil gleam. He shakes his head and says
> > > > "Lady, Es vet dir gornisht helfen!"
>
> > > That's the same punch line I've used for years to explain why the Notre Dame
> > > football team was beating the bejesus outta the Yeshiva team, even after the
> > > Yeshiva QB, in desperation, started calling the signals in Yiddish. That's
> > > exactly what the Notre Dame defensive left tackle told his opposing lineman.
>
> > Care to explain it to us goy boys?
>
> I assume you mean the punchline for the vampire joke? Basically, it
> means "it won't help you". (I think it's closer to "it is of no help".)
>
> I assume you get the joke that the a Yiddish-speaking vampire will
> probably not be afraid of a crucifix.
>

Yes I get it now. Ha. Ha. Thanks.

-CB

A vampire bat came flapping in A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and l

10/1 Puns Magnetic: An attractive tic.

joke website I found this good joke website at

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