A TRIP TO ROME
A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.
He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone
want to go there? It's crowded & dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy
to go to Rome! So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Qantas." was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Qantas?!!" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline!! Their planes
are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So,
where are you staying in Rome?"
"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."
"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the
service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get
there?"
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"Right," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see
him! He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of
yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber
asked him about his trip to Rome.
"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of
Qantas's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to
first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year
old female flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel -
it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodelling job and now
it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they
apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard
tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the pope likes to personally
meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private
room and wait the pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, five minutes
later the pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down as
he spoke a few words to me."
"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"
"He asked me, 'Where'd you get the shitty haircut?'"
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