Ole, out in his pasture in northern Minnesota, takes a lightning-quick kick
from a cow right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground.
As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor.

He said "How bad is it Doc? . . . I'm going on my honeymoon next veek and my
financeé, Lena, is still a virgin - in every vay".

The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willy in a splint to let it heal
and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He then took four
tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all
together . . . quite an impressive work of art.

Ole mentions none of this to Lena, marries her, and they go on their
honeymoon to Duluth.

That night in the motel room, Lena rips open her blouse to reveal her
beautiful, untouched breasts. She said, "You're the first vun. No vun has
EVER seen deez."

Ole immediately drops his pants and replies, . . "Look at dis, still in da
CRATE!"

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