[Rick Stevens]

Disaster in Hull
An Appeal for Your Help


A major earthquake measuring 5. 2 on the Richter scale hit in the early
hours of Wednesday morning. Epicentre: Hull , England.

News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000
racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering
"fookinhell" and "choffin-norah".

The earthquake decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several
priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish
Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out
cars were disturbed.

Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Radio Hull
reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still
trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
happened in Hull .

One resident of Bransholme, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon
Braithwaite said: "It
was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my
bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it
all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning".

Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car
crime carried on as normal.

So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities
of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
Duke at Argos, and bone China from Pound-stretcher.


Can You Help....?
Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
for the victims of this disaster.


Clothing is needed most of all, especially:

· Fila or Burberry baseball caps

· Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)

· Shell suits (female)

· White sports socks

· Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark

Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
efforts will make a difference.
Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or
Special Brew are ideal.

Please do not give anything that requires peeling.

Remember:

· 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims

· £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9

· £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves

Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells

Please do not send tents for shelter.
The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding
East Yorkshire communities.


--
visit www.east4adventure.org.uk/snorkel

Archived from group: alt>jokes

[moghouse]

On Feb 27, 7:27 pm, "Rick Stevens" wrote:
> Disaster in  Hull
> An Appeal for Your Help
>
> A major earthquake measuring 5. 2  on the Richter scale hit in the early
> hours of  Wednesday  morning. Epicentre:  Hull , England.
>
> News of the disaster was swiftly carried abroad by the town's 35,000
> racing pigeons, as victims were seen wandering around aimlessly muttering
> "fookinhell" and "choffin-norah".
>
> The earthquake decimated the town, causing £30 worth of damage. Several
> priceless collections of mementos from the Balearic Isles and the Spanish
> Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historical burnt out
> cars were disturbed.
>
> Many locals were woken up well before their Giro arrived. Radio  Hull
> reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still
> trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had
> happened in  Hull .
>
> One resident  of Bransholme, 15 year old mother of 3, Tracy Sharon
> Braithwaite said: "It
> was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Madonna came running into my
> bedroom crying. The twins, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it
> all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha  the next morning".
>
> Locals were determined not to be bowed, as looting, muggings and car
> crime carried on as normal.
>
> So far, whilst the British Red Cross has managed to ship 4000 crates of
> Sunny Delight to the area to relieve the suffering of stricken locals,
> rescue workers searching through the rubble have found large quantities
> of personal belongings including, benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth
> Duke at Argos, and bone China from Pound-stretcher.
>
> Can You Help....?
> Please respond generously to our appeal for food and clothing
> for the victims of this disaster.
>
> Clothing is needed most of all, especially:
>
> · Fila or Burberry baseball caps
>
> · Kappa tracksuit tops (his or hers)
>
> · Shell suits (female)
>
> · White sports socks
>
> · Rock-Fort boots or any other product sold in Primark
>
> Culturally sensitive food parcels are harder to put together, but your
> efforts will make a difference.
> Microwave meals, tinned baked beans, ice-cream and cans of Colt 45 or
> Special Brew are ideal.
>
> Please do not give anything that requires peeling.
>
> Remember:
>
> · 22p buys a biro for filling in compensation claims
>
> · £2 buys chips, crisps and a blue fizzy drink for a family of 9
>
> · £5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm a child's nerves
>
> Urgently required: Tinned whippet food. Bones for Jack Russells
>
> Please do not send tents for shelter.
> The sight of such posh housing will cause discontent in the surrounding
>  East  Yorkshire communities.
>
> --
> visitwww.east4adventure.org.uk/snorkel

My goodness how those poor souls must have suffered. Even as far away
as Essex we were woken just after 1 a.m. by several seconds of sounds
that seemed like sawing. I was informed that this was the techtonic
plates rubbing together!