"Talking Dog for Sale."

He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back
garden. The bloke goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just
sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Sure do," the dog replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The dog looks up and says, "Well, I discovered my gift of talking
pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told MI5 about
my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured
a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies
eight years running."

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting
any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at
the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near
suspicious characters and listening in."

"I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded loads of
medals. Had a wife, a few puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The bloke is amazed! He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants
for the dog.

The owner says, "Ten quid."

The bloke says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him
so cheap?"

"Cause he's a f...in' liar! He's never done any of that stuff."

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